If you haven't been on this ride at Disneyland or DisneyWorld, it's one of those free fall drop rides. Except, you don't free fall straight down. You drop, and then stop, then go up again and then stop, and then drop a little more, and then stop, and so on. All the while, you're waiting. Waiting in between the ups and downs, waiting to see which way you'll go, waiting for this big final drop into the abyss of the tower. And before you board the ride, you wait in line listening to the people before you scream. It's an experience in exhilaration, anticipation, and expectation, complete with grainy photo at the end. I should mention that my experience on the Tower of Terror was with my mother-in-law on her 50th birthday, what a way to celebrate!
One year ago today, I woke up in the morning ready to have a baby:
|Cue anticipation, excitement, anxiety, but mostly joy.|
After weeks of deliberating, discussing, and delaying today was the big day. My c-section was on the books. There was just one little appointment to get out of the way. My longtime readers may remember the discussion on lung development versus early delivery/shunt placement. They scheduled an amniocentesis just to make sure those little lungs were developed, although we had been reassured continually that it was just one more safety net. So, we did what Team Hawk does best while we waited for our 10:00 appointment and 4:00 delivery, we enjoyed being together our last morning as a team of 2. We went to coffee (which was on the house when the barista asked me when I was due and I said, "We're on our way right now!), we enjoyed a leisurely morning in the sunshine, we even had a lunch date planned with my newlywed cousin and her husband between the amnio and check-in (although I would be fasting at that point). The first little dip on our thrill ride was the amnio. I know my sisters-in-law are squeamish and read this blog, so I'll just leave it at large needle to the belly. It was uncomfortable. And then we waited. An hour later we had a major plunge as we pulled in for lunch and got the call saying Baby Hawk's test results came back negative and her lungs weren't developed. "We'll try again next week," they said. Talk about crestfallen. We had our bag all packed in the car and everything. We were prepared. And all the while I know that the pressure in her head is building and building. And so we instead prepared to wait longer.
|I love this picture. It's me and my 10 day old nephew, Padraig. Swimming through my mind at this exact moment was the thought that I was supposed to be holding my baby that day, but now it looked like I would have to wait.|
|Those beautiful, serious eyes. It was love at first sight.|
We named her Aurelia Kathleen Joy. Aurelia means golden and was found on my family tree. Kathleen was my mother's name, it means pure. And Joy is from Joey's side, and is so fitting to our baby who is such a joy to have in our lives.
The ride is far from over, and the days following her birth had some of the biggest ups and downs we've experienced so far. And there will be many more ups and downs to come. But we feel like we're finally out of the Tower and moving forward with another little person along for the journey.
Happy 1st Birthday to my special little girl! You came into the world like a thrill ride, and we've loved every second of it (even the plunges).