40 Days

I am on the threshold of a season of change.  But today is not the day to post about these upcoming changes.  Suffice to say I have been preparing my heart and mind for a lot of unknowns that we'll get to know in the next few days.  There is a lot of blog worthy material on deck.  Cryptic, huh?  Side note: We're not pregnant or anything like that. . . although I've had two people ask me if growing our family was part of my thought in choosing the word "Growth."  That is definitely not part of the plan for this next year.

Change is a great way to stimulate growth.  It forces us to look at things through a new lens, to change our norms, to try something new.  Of course there are big life changes like moves, marriage, and motherhood.  But sometimes change is subtle.  Sometimes it takes necessary changes in habits and holdups to help us move forward and grow.  I've been thinking about these subtle changes a lot recently.  What do I need to change in my life to help me grow?  What is holding me back?

Fittingly, today is Ash Wednesday.  Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, the 40 day period of fasting leading up to Easter.  Every year I join the throngs of people that give up something for 40 days as an act of sacrifice and and to prepare our hearts for celebrating Christ (I realize this is lent in it's simplest form).  In the past I've given up things like refined sugar, caffeine, Facebook, or my IPhone.  And I've found that after Easter, I am less dependent on those things.  It's a great feeling to be free of a dependence on something that was holding me back.  This year I am breaking with character by writing about what I am giving up as an act of accountability and confession.  'Cause I have to admit that I have a serious addiction, and it's name is HuluPlus.

I could explain it away for hours: It's only when Joey is gone.  I'm a busy mom and I need mindless moments after long days.  I only watch a few shows.  I only watch when the kids are asleep.  I'll cut back, I can quit anytime.

But here are the facts, the embarrassing facts: I watch about at least an hour of TV each night after the girls are in bed.  The list of shows I watch is growing and includes shows that I don't even care about or like (i.e. Raising Hope).  I put off things I need and want to do in order to stay caught up on shows.  When I told my sister that I was thinking about giving up TV for Lent, she said, "Are you sure you can do that?"  But I have to try.  I read less, write less, and sleep less when I let my TV addiction get the best of me.

It's hard to foster a spirit of growth when I spend my nights doing absolutely nothing.  And I am tired of being stagnant.  With that I say, "Welcome Lent."  40 days without TV, 40 days to focus, 40 days. . . I can do this.