Thursday, February 9, 2012

Stick a fork in me, I'm done

Still here, still pregnant.  This may come as a surprise to some of you as I was scheduled for a repeat c-section that was supposed to occur yesterday.  That obviously did not happen since I'm still pregnant.  To make a long story short. . . I switched doctors Monday since my doctor was going to be out of town for my c-scetion anyways.  I love my new doctor and she'll let me continue to try for a more natural birth until 42 weeks as long as I'm healthy and baby is healthy.  Really, I should have switched much early.  I always tell people that if you don't like a healthcare provider, find a new one.  It took me a little while to heed my own advice this time.

Waiting for a baby to arrive on their own puts me in a strange new position.  I used get frustrated when soon-to-be mamas would complain about still being pregnant.  Facebook statuses about eviction notices and demands to vacate really irked me.  Because up until 4 days ago, I knew when my babies would arrive and I was envious of those who got to wait, and nest, and pace, and wait some more.  But now that I'm in that position myself, I find myself saying things like, "I think I'm going to be pregnant forever."  

It probably doesn't help that I worked hard to prepare for that February 8th arrival date. . . 'cause now I'm out of stuff to do.  My house is so clean.  We're tackling so many little projects as we wait.  And I think I've tried every old wives tale in the book and every suggestion given to me.  My favorite was from my sister-in-law who mentioned having a Blizzard the night before she went into labor.  It didn't work, but it was delicious.  I'm eating spicy foods (which we kinda do already, so I don't know if it still works).  I'm going for long, brisk walks thanks to the beautiful weather we were having.  I'm taking all kinds of supplements, drinking tea, and many other things that will go unsaid because, well, they're personal.  I've even scrubbed my floors as suggested by Anya.  Oh, and did I mention doing acupuncture?  I highly recommend it.  I am really really ready to meet this little person.  We've narrowed it down to three names and are pretty set on one of them.  You'll have to wait for the big unveil.  Our bag is packed.  Aurelia's bag is packed for the grandparents.  I even had time for a pedicure.  I am feeling good to go.  Instead, I'm sitting here adding things to my completed to do list.  And I'm twiddling my thumbs.  And I'm sitting on an exercise ball.  And I'm doing lunges around the house.  And I'm scrubbing my bathtub.  And I'm answering all the gasping, "You're still pregnant?!?"  

It's hard not to get frustrated with this period of waiting.  It's hard not to complain.  After all, I'm not really sleeping.  I waddle when I walk.  I visit the bathroom every 15 minutes.  And my cute maternity clothes are getting snugger by the day.  But it's also hard not to really enjoy this relaxed pace.  I love spending time with my little family that will be growing so soon.  I love nesting (seriously, when has housecleaning ever felt so cathartic and fulfilling?).  I love that our schedule is clear and we start each day with, "If we don't have a baby today, let's do this."  And I love that I constantly have to remind myself that this child's birth date (and ultimately everything else in life) is completely out of my control.  It's a great lesson in patience and trust.  So, I'll continue to wait on this little one's arrival with eager anticipation.  I'll continue to hope that it's soon, I'd love to be able to roll over in my sleep again.  But I will savor these moments knowing that she will arrive at exactly the moment God planned to bring her into this world.


Nikki said...

Here, here!

Alicia said...

after taking 2 years to get pregnant with Jeremiah, I swore I would never complain about pregnancy, but take each symptom as a cheerful part of the journey. But both times now, I am just so so done by the end that I start to go a little crazy. I really think it is God's way of giving us the emotional strength to go through whatever it takes to get that baby out. Hugs and prayers as you wait for that little one!

GramE said...

Julie, you made me laugh so hard! My second was 14 days late. He still tortures me to this day! LOL

GramE said...

GramE = Sherry Eggleston